Darkness Within

Darkness Within

Writing is the key to express my inner soul and the demons within. It’s a way to release my dreams along with a vivid, wild imagination. Some are based on truth while I look to the future to answer questions of who we are and where do we come from.

I reach deep within the darkness of my soul to bring to light of what is or what can be. As I write about “Darkness Within”, my heart is troubled by the amount of suicides we hear of everyday. Unfortunately, it’s only the famous who really get recognized, as others will suffer in silence.

Within days two icon personalities have left us. Kate Spade and now Anthony Bourdain. Not long ago we heard of Robin Williams. All were gifted souls with incredible talent. As human beings we must not forget about those struggling in their darkness of despair, putting on a “pretend face” in public, scared to reach out due to being ridiculed as weak or loosing supposed friends.

The Darkness Within

Chronic Depression is a real disease. It grabs you and takes you to this dark place never letting go. You feel embarrassed to speak about it because no one really listens.

Sometimes, all you need are real friends and a hug. Seriously – it’s a personal fight within your soul.

Those who don’t understand it, will never ever understand why.

My heart is deeply sadden.

If only we can talk to each other without feeling ashamed or singled out. We don’t have to fight the darkness within alone. All anyone needs to do is really listen.

May your Soul find Peace Anthony and Kate. A great loss to us all. I wrote Soul Saver because of depression – it was my way to reach out after the death of my daughter Jenni.

Bari Demers – screenwriter and storyteller

The Heart of Depression

Just recently ( May 2017) a young man of only 29 years old passed away due to acute depression. His name was Eskild ; a bright filmmaker from Norway 🇳🇴. The reason I know of him, is simply my interest in filmmaking. We met on YouTube – have a LOOK

Here you will see in the first few seconds of the film, Eskild ( Blonde hair) with his long time friend and film buddy Andyax.

Follow Eskild’s YouTube HERE

When I heard of Eskild passing away, I was shocked! Such a talented filmmaker with hopes of becoming well established in the film industry. To learn his death is a result of acute depression makes it all too real in today’s society.

Depression is a common occurrence but few talk about it because family and friends become uncomfortable with this subject. There’s this idiotic stigma pointing towards weakness, which is so far from the truth. Depression can be many things. It can be genetic, societies burden of stress, bullying or a chemical imbalance. Whatever the case, anyone with depression feels totally alone due to families and friends reaction.

Depression can be triggered from many things. It could be as simple as breaking up with your partner, doing bad in school, becoming pregnant, a death in the family, or result of an dysfunctional family.

What makes depression worse ?

The reaction of family or friends, telling you it’s only a phase…you’ll snap out of it! You’ll get ill advise, like :

  • Take on an activity, get involved.
  • Don’t worry, you’ll pull through it.
  • Stop being a pussy. Get your act together man!
  • Stop being such a baby!
  • Go to work, you’ll feel better.

In reality, they don’t really understand or want to deal with the problem.

Has this happen to you ?

Share with us what others have said to you.

The point is, the person with depression struggles alone, constantly fighting their inner demons. If you haven’t had real depression, you can’t understand what that person is going through. If that person feels completely lost and alone without any means of recovery, they will simply vanish, ending their life by whatever means they choose. Famous actors and singers have ended their lives, when you think they were on top-of-the-world.

See my post on Robin Williams HERE

How can they possibly be depressed?

Like I said, the only way you’ll understand is by having a deep depression yourself. And I don’t mean a one time depression, because of your finances or a fight with your spouse. I mean a long time depression.

As with Eskild, in day-to-day life, he looked happy and excited about his film making career. But underneath, it’s obvious he was struggling.

What made him decide there was no turning back ?

It could have been as simple as a rejection from a promising girlfriend, who never returned her love for him. It’s extremely hard to speculate what was going on, only it was all too real for him. He most probably felt there wasn’t any escape from his reality. Backed into the corner type-of-feeling.

Suicide is a split second decision.

Even health professionals have a hard time understanding everyone’s unique motive. Sure, they may understand the clinical reasoning but not truly understand the person. Or do they want to. In order to understand depression you must have experienced it yourself.

Have you ever felt there’s no escape?

On the outside you would have never known Eskild was having trouble. Truly he was a cheerful outgoing individual, eager to teach you how to make videos without a budget. Unfortunately there are warning signs, but like said, most reject it. Was it loneliness?


Eskild indeed was a remarkable person. And the thing is I never met him in person. Only known him through social media connections. So you see, that, as they say, is that…

All I really know about Eskild is, he sure knew the filming process, from filming, editing to the right type of equipment you should be using.

As film makers, screenwriters, artist, actors and crew, we all hope our project will one day be in the theatres throughout the world, sharing our amazing story with others. It’s hard to speculate what caused Eskild to feel so sad. If only he knew the world was watching his videos because of his remarkable skill in the film industry.

We all have dreams.

Unfortunately, only the ‘few fortunate’ make it to the top selection of life. Most of us struggle waiting for that lucky break where we’re given an Oscar for our incredible achievements. The world of ‘Fine Arts’ is indeed the most challenging due to the fierce competition.

I had a dream too.

If only I could afford to fly Eskild and Anders up here to British Columbia, Canada 🇨🇦 to begin production on my Scifi horror genre screenplay,’Black Angels’.

BUT – like everyone else I don’t have 20 million dollars to execute my dream into reality. All I can do is promote and wait for that lucky break. While I wait for that lucky break ( like the rest of the world) I like to dream. My dreams are placed into words. Those words envision a story.

“ I envision a story and bring it to life.” BMD

I only hope I can encourage others to follow your path, no matter the obstacles.

Don’t let your dreams die!

Did you know Robert Redford used his stardom to help other struggling independent filmmakers? This is why he started Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah. Did you know investors, directors and production companies head to Sundance Film Festival seeking new talent ? All you have to do is make a ‘short film’ from 10 – 15 minutes long. The point is, Robert Redford wanted to open the doors to unknown filmmakers.

My heart goes out to Eskild. I only wish I could of assured him, even though there are a lot of road blocks in life, your dreams will never be crushed. Eskild talent as a filmmaker, was without question valuable to the world.

It’s with a heavy heart to say Eskild will deeply be missed. My condolences to his family. I only wished I met him in person and could have helped.

This stigma of depression must stop ! If you’re a friend? Be a real friend and encourage that friend. Give him or her hope for a brighter future. It’s a struggle out there; just don’t let that friend of yours struggle by themselves. Never give them an ultimatum.


By Bari Demers Screenwriter and writer from your Dreams

Please follow me on Twitter and please RT – Lets get the message out.

Tribute to Robin Williams

“May his Soul travel the unlimited Cosmos without Time ” BMD

Alas, my heart sank in sadness. Shocked today by the tragedy of Robin Williams death is more than heartbreaking. A man who dedicated his life to making others laugh, it’s inconceivable to hear he won’t be amongst us anymore. A passionate actor and comedian who entertained the world, bringing happiness into our homes year after year.

The first time I heard of Robin Williams, I was fully amused and at the same time fascinated by his character Mork on the Sci-Fi comedy TV Series, Mork & Mindy. Delighted by those funny words,” “Nanu…Nanu!”, along with the famous Alien handshake. I knew way back then in 1978, we would surely see more of this funny man.

It wasn’t until, “Dead Poets Society” in 1989, did I ever realize he was also a serious actor,” O Captain! My Captain!”

Decade after decade our family embraced Robin Williams characters, like the hilarious Mrs. Doubtfire debut in 1993, filling our local theatre to the brim with barrels of laughter. And then, who could forget, JUMANJI where Robin Williams character is trapped in a board game until his grandchildren free him 26 years later.

In 1996 we were entertained by the intriguing movie,The Birdcage, introducing the life-style of the gay community. After Mrs. Doubtfire, who would of thought there would possibly be anything more hilarious. But there it was, I couldn’t stop laughing. It wasn’t until this movie did I realize the underlining message, to recognizing the gay community as a family. It was ignorance on my part.

Once again in 1997, Robin Williams played in another serious role as a gifted Councillor with the screenplay,”Goodwill Hunting“, winning him an Oscar for best supporting actor.

It was also a delight to see him play the role as President Teddy Roosevelt in the fun loving movie, Night at the Museum.

Robin Williams professional standing as an actor and comedian made it all so inconceivable to hear of his fight with depression. Oh God! Depression. Damn that word! Damn what it does to a person. Damn society for not taking depression seriously and the overall stigma it places on people suffering from this disease. Unfortunately, depression is not a broken bone, so it’s hard to see and it hides well. Too well.

Robin Williams was a great person. He will be dearly missed.

It’s sad to see anyone end their life over depression. It’s devastating to the families and friends. Too many are dying in silence.

My deepest condolence to Robin Williams family and friends.

by Bari Demers


Express email to God

What if atheists are right ?

Dear God,

I find it unimaginable to realize you don’t exist.

I pray I’m wrong and your silence is my ignorance and YOU will soon answer. The god awful feeling in the pit of my stomach tells me you’ll never answer our cries for help, letting the atheists win the overall social debate.

It’s understandable we could be a by-product consisting over millions of years of evolution. We’re even considered a small tick on the clock of time, but my inner soul tells me there’s more to us than a biological entity.

Scientists, like Charles Darwin, use science and logic to make their claim, reasoning our existence is only a small part of a much bigger picture on an evolutionary scale.

It’s so unfortunate religion has plague mankind from the beginning of time, exercising it’s power, starting wars and collecting riches through your name. Each man-made religion demands they’re the RIGHT religion and the rest are wrong.


If you don’t exist, everything we do is for NOT.

Our meaning of life is nothing more than a figment of our imagination mixed with the reality of death, suffering and despair.

Love is only a way we know to bond in order for our species to propagate, over-populating our poor earth with the countless masses. We ARE nothing more than a bad virus spreading our seed, causing damage along the way.

But God, please tell me I’m wrong.

Tell me when I see the creation of a little being in the palm of my hands, there’s more to life than we know or could ever comprehend. There are times when I feel your existence. But then, there are those times I don’t understand why you won’t intervene into the suffering of our children.

I plead for your thundering out-cry, saying,” That is enough! No more bloodshed! No more hate! No more greed! No more evil! No more! I tell you all – I AM YOUR LOVING GOD and I’m here to protect you.”

If only I could hear those words from your sweet lips. If only I could love you, hold you, hug you, knowingly YOU ARE REAL and NOT an imaginary existence made up from the electrons of my evolutionary brain.

More and more souls are giving up, feeling our life has no meaning.

It’s called suicide and considered a sin, but it’s more of a sin not helping out their silent cries. Our doctors are becoming complacent, overwhelmed by the masses. They’re indifferent using medical terms and drugs to calm the suffering souls. But I say to you, they’re not aware of the inner feelings of sickness or battling desperation they ensue each and every day of every hour of every minute of every second.

Oh My God, is this your will?

I’m tired of hearing of the needless deaths from suicide or the horrific killing rampage upon our children by the hands of an insane lunatic.

I’m just tired of it all. My tears of sorrow fill the oceans of our earth many times over.

Please God.

Please speak and clearly make your presence known.

What ever happened to that feeling of falling madly and deeply in love?

Where did it go?

Where’s that feeling of bonding closely, enriching our souls to believe we have a purpose?

Why is everything tasteless ?

Why God? Why?

Everyday I hear of a needless death, I whisper those words dear to my heart,” Please God, save their souls.”

It’s more satisfying to know, you’re there to look after them, give them a purpose, showing your care and endless love.

Please God. Reassure them, THEY ARE NOT ALONE.

I believe you can hear my words even before the day I was ever born. My words are your words. My life is your life. I’m in the palm of your hands.

It’s up to you God. It’s up to you.

Make this earth a better place for all of us.

By Bari Demers


There’s such a negative stigma to those suffering mental illness, that most will not speak out. When they do get the courage, society scoff them as being weak or selfish, when they do act out in desperation.

Once again, on the news two more souls this past week (in my city) loss their life due to their act of desperation. So young are the life’s, it’s makes me cringe with sadness.

I just had to write about it, asking God to make his physical presence visible as I see, hear and touch you today.

The evil and negativism in our world must stop.

Too many teenagers are effected by depression. Countless children are dying by the hands of dictating government greed or deranged individuals.

And, if society can change their views on mental illness, our world would be a better place.

Read any medical journal, and it will explain mental illness is a disease, much like one crippled with alcoholism or drugs. The only difference, mental illness is hard to see. It’s not a visible broken bone, so most doctors don’t know how to treat it. Or worse yet, they won’t !

It’s time society as a whole begins to recognize the problem, making it illegal for those inconsiderate people (who use bullying tactics) lashing out at those who are suffering dearly.

Life is too short.

Life should be a happy place, freely feeling alive, fulfilling your dreams.

Trust me when I say, “Everyone, at one time or another has had depression of some kind, but were afraid to say so.”

Either that or you’re a good lier…

The picture below is a graphic painting I did expressing the depression within our souls.