Being Canadian could be best described as the polite neighbours along the northern border of America who enjoy beer and hockey. Well, that’s the just of it, right ?
Sorry to say, but there’s a lot more to Canadians then that.
So let see how Canadian Savvy you are by correctly answering the questions below.
Warning: Beyond this point you must appreciate Canadian humour, eh?
Question One : Canada’s favourite sport is?
A. Canadians are hockey lovers. It’s a common tradition for Canadians to hang a couple of hockey sticks on their wall, supporting their favourite team. When Canadians visit each other, they head over to the wall showcasing the hockey sticks. The first thing they say,” Oh, I see you’re a Edmonton Oiler fan, eh?” Or,” Oh yeah, what a hoser, you’re a Vancouver Canucks Fan, I see, eh?” They spend hours discussing hockey. Even the women are hardcore hockey fans. Go figure,eh?
B. Canadians rather watch football than hockey any day.
C. Canadians love playing Lacrosse.
D. Canadians enjoy the sport, “Making a Snowman”. Every home during the long winter months, feature a Snowman. Each home owner likes to out-do their neighbours. It’s common to hear them talk about the snowman competition in their local bars,” Im building the biggest, meanest looking snowman you ever did see. What do you think of that, eh?”
E. Soccer of course! Canadians favourite sport is soccer.
F. Needle point is a favourite past time, competition is fierce.
G. We all know basketball is Canada’s favourite sport. After all, basketball was invented by Canadians.
Question Two: Where does Poutine originate from?
A. Poutine was first made in Germany. It’s fried sliced potatoes sauté with onions.
B. Poutine is a big ass meal. Golden French Fries are covered in cheese curds and drizzled with a rich gravy. It’s said to originate from Quebec.
C. Poutine is originally from Alberta. It’s silver dollar pancakes drizzled with Canadian Maple syrup.
D. Poutine was first introduce in France. French Fries covered with Camembert cheese and a rich Robert sauce. It’s topped with white truffles.
Question Three: What the heck is a Toque?
A. Toque is a process for making smoked salmon. You “toque” it before it heads into the smoker.
B. Toque is a Canadian sock where each part of the sock has a individual toe. It comes in many colours.
C. Toque is a special mechanics tool used on Canadian cars.
D. Toque was a helmet designed specifically for Wayne Gretzky during his time with Edmonton.
E. Toque is a fuzzy warm winter hat worn by most Canadians during the cold winter months, which is, by the way, 9 months of the year.
F. A Toque is a name given to Canadian entrepreneurs, like the ones you see on the famous CBC TV show,” Dragons Den”. You probably heard of Entrepreneur, Kevin O’Leary commonly named,” Mr Wonderful” during the American show, ” Shark Tank”. In Canada, we call him Mr Wonderful – The Toque.
Question Four: Who or what is Wayne Gretzky ?
A. Wayne is a famous football star.
B. Gretzky is a special smoked bbq salmon dish served with hollandaise and caviar, it was named after the Wayne brothers – hence : Wayne Gretzky.
C. Wayne Gretzky is originally from UK and a famous soccer star in Canada.
D. Wayne Gretzky was named after the Las Vegas Hockey camp, which takes place every year. He was a War Hero and his best friend is Bari Demers.
E. Wayne Gretzky is originally from Ontario, use to play for the Edmonton Oilers, LA Kings and referred to as one of hockey’s all time Greats, was a Canadian hockey player and former head coach with NHL – famously nicknamed ” The Great One.”
F. Wayne Gretzky is a super star goalie. Born in Calgary, Alberta. He has always loved winter sports. It was common to see him skiing up near Lake Louise, Alberta. He would cause a lot of problems on the hill because women couldn’t keep their eyes off him, constantly asking for his autograph. Women adore him so much, they gave him the nickname ” The Great One.”
Question Five: What the heck is a Loonie?
A. It’s a famous bird only seen in Canada. The Loonie has a 7 metre long wing span, white speckled breast with colourful red spots. It’s has a unique long taper beak. It was closely examined by British and French engineers; they incorporated the Loonies design into the nose of its Concorde Jet.
B. It’s a special slug coin used specifically for vending machines, only in Canada. It was a joke by our Prime Minister.
C. Loonie was the nicknamed used for Canadians who smoked wacky cigarettes. The RCMP noticed each time a Canadian, eh, would smoked a wacky tobacco, they went totally Loonie, hence the name : Loonie.
D. It’s used as Canadian currency, a One Dollar Coin used in place of its paper dollar bill. It’s said to drive Canadians Loonie.
Question Six : What is a Mickey?
A. Mickey is a special statue in tribute to the American icon Mickey Mouse. Walt Disney was so impressed with how many Canadians love going to Disneyland, he had a bronze statue made during his visit to Vancouver. Vancouver now has it on display in the famous Stanley Park.
B. Mickey was a famous logger from Prince George, British Columbia. He was equal to Americans Paul Bunyan. You can see Mickey’s gigantic statue as you enter Prince George.
C. Mickey is a Canadian comedian from the province of Newfoundland and Labrador. His famous stand-up line started with,” How’s the weather, eh? You crazy bunch of Loonies.” Mickey is adored throughout Canada.
D. Mickey is named after a 375 ml bottle of liquor. Most Canadians are famous to say,” Can you pick me up a Mickey, eh?”
Question Seven: What the heck is a Forty Pounder?
A. A Forty Pounder is when a Canadian reaches the age of 40 years old. For Canadians its devastating reaching 40 years old, so it’s traditional for them to go out on the town raising hell, pounding the bars all night long, hence : “Forty Pounder”. In order for them receive free booze, its traditional to wear a flashy red Canadian flag. Canadians love any excuse to celebrate.
B. Forty Pounder is the biggest Canadian hamburger ever made. It features Canadian back-bacon, a thick slice of cheddar cheese, big ass double hamburger patties drenched in Canadian whiskey and sauté beefsteak mushrooms.
C. Canadians call a “Forty Pounder” for those who need or have lost 40 lbs. Apparently it’s really hard for Canadians to loose forty pounds, because of the cold long winters. The Canadian Fitness Company has a special ” Forty Pound” weight loss program. It’s approved by the Canadian government, to improve on the health of Canadians. It’s been rumoured it has something to do with all the beer they drink.
D. A Forty Pounder is the size of a bottle of liquor, in litres it’s said to be 1.14 L tall. Some say it actually weights in at 40 lbs. This is usually purchased during the long winter months. It’s a Canadian form to hibernation.
Question Eight: The Great White North – Where exactly is it?
A. The Great White North is said to be the village where Santa Claus comes from. It’s way, way, way, up North, to what Canadians call the “Due Line”.
B. It’s humoured The Great White North is a place up north where there’s a “pot of gold” , approximately 10 degrees of True North. Unfortunately, this has never been verified. Apparently each Canadian explorer who has tried to find the Great White North has never returned. It has also been humoured the abominable snowman lives up in The Great White North and, that’s pretty much why explores never come back.
C. The Great White North is a secret military base by the Canadian government used for the “Alien” outreach program. Basically like Area 51. Alien visitors from other planets are processed here before mingling with humans. They even made a movie out of this place, ” Men in Black”.
D. The Great White North is actually not a place at all. It’s after what appears to be a Canadian Cookbook, the bible to Canadian cooking. It’s full name is “Canadian Recipes of the Great White North” . But, it’s been rumoured this book is actually a secret code book for CSIS (Canadian Security Intelligence Service). Every time you notice someone carrying around “Canadian Recipes of the Great White North”, Canadians know it’s a quick give away for CSIS members. They also carry this big ass badge. Prime Minister Harper has his very own copy of Canadian Recipes of the Great White North.
E. ” The Great White North”, a SCTV feature show by famous Canadians,Bob and Doug McKenzie.
F. Great White North is referred to everything past the 49th parallel in Canada. It’s said to be slang for Canada. Some just say, it’s just a name given to Canada for having all those cold winters, reaching up to minus 50 Celsius. Now that’s cold!
Question Nine: What the heck is a Hoser?
A. A Hoser is a Canadian redneck dressed in mix matched hunting clothing. It’s quick to point them out by the famous line, ” Hey Hoser, how’s it going? Pretty nice weather, Eh?” They even had a cult club called,” The Great White North” by who else? Yup, you guessed it, Bob and Doug McKenzie.
B. Hoser is a nylon sock that women used as a form of fashion. It’s been said, when women were finished wearing their hoser all day, they would cook it in hot water, making a special soup called,” Hoser Soup”. Well, at least that’s what my mom told me, when I asked what she was doing.
C. Hoser is a rubber ring fitting used on Canadian Mason Jars. Another use for this rubber ring? Well, we won’t go there.
Question Ten Whats a Kangaroo Jacket ?
A. Kangaroo Jacket was a gift by Australians to Canadians. Canadian use “raw-hide” from cows, while Australians use “kangaroo-hide” from Kangaroos. In the 1970’s Prime Minister Trudeau wore his famous leather buckskin jacket with leather fringes made by native, Many Finger. Apparently he bought it for $500. When the Prime Minster of Australia saw this, he was impressed. It was about a month later, when Prime Minister Trudeau’s office received a gift in the mail from the Australian Prime Minister. To Trudeau’s surprise, it was a hand-crafted, Kangaroo Jacket. Inside the package was a greeting card that read,” It’s my dear pleasure, on behalf of the Australian government and its citizens, I present to you this lovely Kangaroo Jacket. I hope you enjoy it Buckskin, my friend. ” Sincerely, Prime Minister William McMahon. Buckskin was Trudeau’s nickname.
B. Kangaroo Jacket gots it’s slang term after a buckaroo, a wealthy Australian rancher, Big John, visited Alberta to purchase a special breed of cattle called,” Alberta Longhorn”. During his visit, Calgarian rancher, Cowboy Tom, noticed he was wearing this hoodie jacket, so he asked him what kind of jacket was that. “Oh…,” he said,” it’s a Kangaroo Jacket.” Since then, any hoody in Canada is called a Kangaroo Jacket.
Ten Questions. Did you guessed them right?
Do you consider yourself Canadian savvy ?
By Bari Demers – Canadian of course